I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
