Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
