Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
