just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
last night I used snow as a chaser
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