if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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