is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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