On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
