Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I looked at my own cervix.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
