So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
