I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize