somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
