i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
