Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
nutella sex= disaster
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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