North Korea, Best Korea!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's even glitter on my cock...
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