i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
