Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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