I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
