I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
