Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
