my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
