no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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