i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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