All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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