with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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