Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so much tequila, so little girl.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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