Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
