He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
