working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
