You smell like stripper and shame
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
