Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
