Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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