I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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