I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
