it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was confusing and full of hummus
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
