I want to have your abortion
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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