I have demons in me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
