we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
