a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize