His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Two words: blizzard sex
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
