Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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