It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
