I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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