is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
