he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
