Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
