ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
