I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
