Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
