Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize