Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
