she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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