I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
