i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize