Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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