you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
