I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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