PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
