Christians are straight up FREAKS
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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