At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
