chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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