oh god the rape fog is back!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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