dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize