You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
