She is in my trunk
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
