Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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