I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
