Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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