Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How external is "for external use only"?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
