Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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