at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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